Atlanta Hates Me -OR- How I Got My Coffee

The lovely KA Mitchell at the storyteller panel

The lovely KA Mitchell at the storyteller panel

I told the coffee story so many times this past week, but I think it needs to be immortalized in the blogdom. Let me set the stage…

GRL, Friday night. Went to the formal party but left early (that’s a whole other story), and ended up back in my room writing. Did not sleep well that night. I woke up the next morning super tired and wanted to go back to sleep but couldn’t. I was up in time for the 9 am panel that I wanted to see (Amy Lane, KA Mitchell, JP Barnaby) but just barely, so I skipped the coffee line. I’m glad I did, because it was a great panel. KA Mitchell was chucking yarn. It was craziness.

Anyway, so after the panel, I was on a mission for coffee. I didn’t even care about food. Just coffee. The coffee bar in the hotel lobby had a notoriously long line and that day was no different. So I decided to venture out and walk to Starbucks (about a mile and a half, I was feeling a walk) instead of the closer Dunkin Donuts. I got a few blocks in the direction of Stbx, after seeing about the fourth vagrant, I realized I was in the ghetto and being there alone was probably no good, so I turned around.

So I made it back to where the hotel was, and kept walking in the other direction, towards the mini mall that housed Dunkin Donuts. Keep in mind, this was around 10:30 on a Saturday, and there was a Georgia Tech game about to start. So lots of people were around. But apparently that mini mall didn’t need the business, because it was closed. Cursing, I turned back again, and went to the hotel. I saw a sign behind the hotel for another Dunkin Donuts within a gas station, so I walked the one block to that one. I go inside the gas station and there’s a sign over where the Dunkin Donuts should have been that said “coming soon.” Monday, in fact.

Okay, by then, I was pissed. I went back into the hotel and brave the line at the coffee bar. Which had just closed. Right in front of me. So I started bitching about my lack of caffeine to fellow author and caffeine seeker EM Lynley. The coffee bar lady walked by and instructed us to “go to the (alcohol) bar.” Confused, we obey. We sat at the bar for a few minutes and no one came. So we bitched some more. We were overheard by a lovely hotel employee named Reginald, who proceeded to get us espresso. Lots and lots of espresso. He apologized profusely and gave it to us for free (and of course, I gave him a nice tip).

So after a couple of hours and several miles total of walking, I finally got my coffee. O_O That was just some of the WTFery from the hotel and Atlanta in general. Luckily, the con itself was quite fun. Well, that’s my story for today, children. Tune in next time!



Speak on it

  1. Man, JK, I cannot believe we were in the same room and I totally missed meeting you. Anyway, NEXT TIME I will give you my number so you can call or text. I NEVER go anywhere without my coffeemaker and my Starbucks Dark French Roast. I will make you all the coffee you want. No lines, no waiting and no walking. And wasn’t that such an awesome session?

    • I know! I didn’t realize till after that you were there! Everything was moving so fast and I was sort of in a newbie coma through the whole thing. I will definitely have to take you up on the coffee next time. It was like I was stuck in the coffee Twilight Zone.