Trigger Warning: Sex
Okay, I admit it. That was a total clickbait title, but it’s a good lead-in to what I want to talk about in my main article: sex in romance.
There are a lot of different opinions that tend to circulate around the issue. Some authors write sex, some write fade-to-black. Some people think that too much sex in romance blurs the lines between romance and erotica, and between erotica and porn. All of those opinions are valid, and sometimes deeply personal, and I love that there’s something for everyone in the genre of romance. Here’s MY opinion (i.e. why I write what I do):
The driving forces of my writing are relationships and love, whatever form they may take. The reason I write sex in my books is because the decision to have sex (or to not have sex, because Ace relationships shouldn’t be discounted), and the nature of the sex, is an integral part of the growth, maturation, and maintenance of a romantic relationship. Every couple reaches that level on a different path, and it manifests differently for everyone, and that is one of the things I LOVE exploring as an author. Other authors may like focusing on other things, and that’s what makes the diversity of romantic stories so amazing.
While sometimes it may seem like our culture might be oversexualized, in fact I think we still have a pretty puritanical view of sex as a society–though I can really only speak for the US–and it’s often seen as something shameful. I write sex proudly and enthusiastically, and give the virtual middle finger to people and institutions outside the genre who think the inclusion of sex cheapens the craft.
That’s not to say I didn’t cringe like a mofo when I found out my grandma was reading my books. (My m/f series, because she is of a certain generation after all). But I was still PROUD.